Helpless

I learned today that I am definitely not calm in a crisis. In the middle of class, one of my students walked up to me (I swear she was actually green) and asked to go to the office to call her mom. She then started swaying, and I caught her as she sank to the floor. I gently laid her on the floor and went immediately into freak out mode. Apparantly, as I learned later from my students, I made a really strange noise at this point. It went something like this - Ahhhhhhhh! I then ran to the phone to call the medical diagnostics teacher (who is a RN) because I had no idea what to do. I yelled from the phone that someone needed to check her breathing. Probably would have been a good idea to do this first thing! I swear the nurse was there in no less than 5 seconds. She is placed perfectly in the center of the school. She, of course, made me look like a fool by calmly asking the student's medical history, taking her blood pressure, and getting her a coke to drink. I honestly considered having the nurse check my blood pressure because it felt like my heart was jumping out of my chest. The student was then wheeled out of my room to recover in a much calmer environment sans Mrs. McAffry.

After they made sure to tell me about that strange noise, my sweet students kept reassuring me that I did a good job. I even got a thumbs up from one of the them. I just really hate that helpless feeling of not knowing what to do.

I am beginning to learn that I thrive on busyness (American Heritage Dictionary says this is a word, though many dictionaries do not agree) maybe because I am so scared of feeling helpless and not needed. I guess this can be a problem because I am supposed to feel helpless. Why else would I need a Savior? A little down time to reflect on this fact is probably a good thing. And that down time is coming in exactly 9 school days.