Malapropisms

A malapropism is the incorrect use of a word by substituting a similar-sounding word with different meaning, usually with comic effect. (Thanks wikipedia.) You can imagine that in grading roughly 800-900 essays per semester, I happen to run across a few of these. They are quite often the highlight of my day because I tend to get a little grumpy when grading essays. No, I did not become an English teacher because I like to grade research papers. In fact, I just finished grading 60 rough drafts that take at least 10 minutes each. I was quite excited when I completed the last one until I realized the final drafts are coming in on Monday. Ugh.

Anyway, this is supposed to be a humorous post. I keep a running list in my gradebook of the malapropisms my students use in their writing. I refer to it when I need a good laugh. Wouldn't these make a great book one day? I threaten my students that I will publish a book with their name attached to their malapropism.

• kicked out of bounce (bounds)
• another words (in other words)
• repetitive things really get on my nervous! (nerves)
• don't take it for granite (granted) **I have seen this one twice.
• across the border (board)
• cold slaw (cole) **incidentally Cole Slaw was my nickname in high school
• lactose and tolerant (intolerant)
• spinning image (spitting)
• tidbid (tidbit)
• goat cars (go-carts)
• Sixteen Chapel (Sistene)
• ro-model (role model)
• heart-ranching story (wrenching)
• in the mitts of (midst)
• pass-time (pasttime)
• kitten caboodle (kit and) **I must admit this one is mine!

Hopefully you are beginning to see my dilemma in trying to decide how best to improve their writing. Where do I even begin?